Inspired by the popular and ongoing argument over whether Love is enough or just bullshit, I thought it apt to say a few things in defense of Love.
And for the sake of understanding it is important to note my assertions are based on the meaning of Love having more to do with intentionality, choice and maturity than it has to do with our feelings and whatever we may want when we say “I love you”.
So, to the Crux of the matter…
Granted, loving as we should (sacrificially and purposefully) does not necessary guarantee a successful blisful romantic relationship all by itself.
Regardless of how lofty the intentions to make the other person happy, it must often require the agreement of both parties to make it work. A matter of choice, so to speak, either to accept or spurn the Love shared.
Life could be blatantly horrible.
Most times, there is no way of understanding why bad things happen, and that hurts.
I get it if a driver were to loose control due to excess alcohol levels. Or if a group of armed robbers got themselves killed in a shoot out with the police. But for a good-natured young lady to intentionally kill her self by drinking a bottle of SNIPER DDVP insecticide is incomprehensible.
Though I didn’t know her very well, I always noticed Haleema* whenever I visited the market for my cake supplies. The stall in which she sold plastic items for parties and home-use was just next to the cake shop. However, even if her spot had been far down the line, her beauty and warmth would have still been conspicuous.
Just the other day, my dear friend Iris, opened up to me about why she couldn’t bear watching certain TV shows for their flagrant display of adultery. Now, regardless of how popular they’d become, Scandal and Power seemed topmost on her list considering how many times she picked on those two.
She was resolutely unyielding in accepting the idea that it is now “modern” to break your marriage vows, especially when it makes you happier – giving you a chance at a truer and more exhilarating relationship with somebody else, who’s supposedly better and more compatible than your once precious and unequaled significant other.
ABOUT THE CITY
Of course, Lagos is in many ways supreme. Any day, any time, it could boast of the most exciting mix of people from all over the world when compared to any other city in the country.
It is the main and principal financial hub in spite of having no major natural resources to rely on, and though it is set upon a tiny piece of land on God’s green earth, it is undisputedly the largest city in Africa.
However, regardless of all that good, Lagos is also the seat of the most intense and debilitating stress. Stress, the kind that is chiefly and determinedly mental with its accompanying physical effects. Yes, Lagos is that place where you age quickly if you are really in a hurry to get it over with.
In fact, it is the place where the universally daily-accepted 5 minutes madness displayed by normal people is taken to a whole new unbreakable record level of 24/7. For want of proof, a typical Lagos traffic, on a typical day, whether on the island or the mainland, will readily reveal these distinguishing facts.
How do I know? Well, I live in the heart of Lagos and I’ve got about six strands of grey hair already in my beard and am only in my early thirties. Even worse, is the occasional memory lapse my mind experiences due to being overstretched by the daily grind and hustle in a broken system that does very little to inspire you to go on.
A friend of mine, who had just lost his young wife to a ghastly motor accident, said to me that it would be much easier to go on if he could have an actual face to face conversation with God. For if God could tell him why He let his wife die, trusting His wisdom wouldn’t be as hard as it is now. But just after a while brooding in silence, he admitted that at the end he saw no other way than to keep trusting God and believing there’s a purpose for everything.
Considering a lot of things, it was only natural for him to want to understand so desperately why such a thing should happen. For one, his relationship with God should have counted for something. In that relationship he had put much confidence in the love and power of his Creator. For even as man and protector of the home he had dutifully prayed for the safety of his family without ceasing, committing them to God’s capable hands. Never did he doubt for once the ableness of his God, whose immensity and greatness is forever incalculable and unmatched. Yes, yes “shit happens” but surely not to a man who knows God like that. Continue reading